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Post by Edward Cullen on Sept 10, 2012 23:41:36 GMT -5
He could not leave her side. It is physically impossible; even as the faintest suggestion materializes in his mind, the muscles in his body lock down as though bracing for an assault, and a sharp sting – the memory of an absent heart, a hollowness that he had endured during those endless months when he tore himself from her – pierces of his chest. What felt like hours, days, or maybe even weeks. Edward felt like he was ever helpless. Bella was in a hidden pain. We had thrown her into the sea of slithering fire dragons. "But she's so still." His pull of our interlocked fingers upward, clutching them to his chest. "I must have done something wrong." Oh, Edward… My father is suddenly at his side, laying a palm on his hunched shoulders. Part of him does not wish to be comforted, especially if his incompetence has caused any harm to befall his Bella… but another part of him – the broken, weeping part – craves the soothing, familial gesture. "Or something right, Edward," Carlisle says. His tone rings with quiet confidence. "Son, you did everything I could have and more. I'm not sure I would have had the persistence, the faith it took to save her." His hand squeezes my shoulder for a moment. "Stop berating yourself. Bella is going to be fine." A broken whisper escapes my parted lips. "She must be in agony." "We don't know that." Carlisle has a gift for speaking so calmly, smoothing the frayed edges of his nerves with the simplest logic. "She had so much morphine in her system. We don't know the effect that will have on her experience." Perhaps I will ask her about it, once she's had time to adjust. Edward tune's out his speculations. I do not want to think about Bella's 'experience', what she may or may not be enduring in her unusual stillness. Pulling his face away from her shoulder, I place a feather-light kiss on the crease of her elbow, in the same exact spot where his teeth had ruptured her silken flesh. "Bella, I love you." The sentiment wafts over her prone body as a barely audible murmur, and I pray that she hears me. "Bella, I'm sorry." Time seems to pass so slowly for Edward, it seem as though time stood still, prolonging this moment for a lifetime. Until he heard it. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six… Bella's heart gives out a deep, hollow thud. It stutters twice, as though refusing to surrender, and beats one final time – a farewell. Silence. No one dares to even breathe. No thoughts invade my skull…save one. Alice is still counting. …five, four, three, two, one. Pale lavender eyelids flicker, thick black lashes caress porcelain cheeks – and Bella opens her eyes. Attachments:
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Post by Bella Cullen on Sept 10, 2012 23:53:46 GMT -5
She counted for what seemed like weeks. '171,998....171,999....172,800....' Bella thought in her silence. She had counted the seconds...each passing second. Every second filled with such agony, such anguish. To the outside world, she laid there still as a corpse. To herself, she clawed at her face, thrashed about and clenched her fists and teeth at the fire burning her veins. Memories flooded her brain as it sped by. It was truly like seeing your life flash before your eyes. The first time she saw him, met him, kissed him, touched him, wanted him, married him, all the way back to being a baby in Renee's arms. It was almost like the pain would cease, then increase in flare like flames flickering at her insides. Screaming on the inside as she heard different footsteps...Alice. They spoke of how long she'd be this way. How many seconds longer was that! She didn't know how much more she could take, but knew she couldn't show it. Saving Edward from feeling like he had done this to her, had given her this pain was what she wanted to avoid. Each second closer to seeing his face, to knowing why she did it. She could hear the murmurs of occasional whispers in the room talking about her condition. She screamed out to speak but nothing...left alone in her thoughts and agony for 172,00 seconds. Then...her heart stopped. Her eyes opened to show the crimson color iris that filled her once brown eyes. She stared at the ceiling unsure if she should move. Hearing footsteps approaching she quickly stood and looked around, catching a glimpse in the mirror at a woman. She looked at reflection examining what she saw before her. A woman with the most beautiful brown locks, blue dress down to her knees and heels. She stool regal, confident. "Woah" She said as she realized the woman in the reflection was herself. Oh....She turned around to see Edward and the rest of the family enter the room. Standing there in a protective, defensive stance she waited.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Sept 10, 2012 23:55:21 GMT -5
She is awake. She is all right.
Her eyes study some unknown object on the ceiling and she inhales in surprise, full lips parting slightly in wonder. She takes in another breath – slower, more measured – and I find myself wishing for the um pteenth time that I could hear her mind.
Her hand, still resting lightly in mine, receives a brief, gentle squeeze. My body automatically tenses, preparing for a reaction from a potentially hazardous newborn vampire, but I forcefully command the corded muscles to loosen. If Bella senses that I am braced for a fight, her instincts may override her common sense. This is the safest place for me to gain some understanding of her lucidity – surrounded by my, our family. If there is going to be any type of capricious behavior from her, it will happen now.
Bella freezes on the table, eyes popping wide. Jasper internally shouts a warning as he reads the shock rippling off of her, but I do not move. A feral noise hisses through Bella's clenched teeth – and she is twisting away from me, yanking her hand from mine as she leaps off the table. Crouching against the nearest wall, her lithe body curled defensively, I watch as realization and then shame leaks into her brilliant red eyes.
I keep my position – leaning across the operating table, hand outstretched – for a moment, unable to smother my anxiety. Bella's stare darts to our family on the opposite wall, assessing each one's expression and stance. Then her wide-eyed gaze flits back to mine. Impossibly, her eyes grow even larger; a low gasp filters through her lips. I find that I cannot fully interpret her expression, because she is looking at me as if she has never seen me before.
A fraction of a second ticks by and Bella is standing upright, though she lingers hesitantly by the wall.
I decide to make the next move, if only to relieve some of the tension from her slender shoulders. Besides, I can hardly bear to stay this far away from her when she is so close.
Leaving my hand held out in front of me, I approach her slowly, willing my voice to convey tranquility. "Bella?" She continues to stare, unblinking, a strangely bemused glaze over her eyes. "Bella, love?"
My steps carry me to her motionless form. I do not think about anything else, or become distracted by my family's cautioning words or Alice's positive assurances.
Bella is my whole world. That fact has never rang truer than in this moment.
"I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting. But you're all right. Everything is fine."
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Post by Bella Cullen on Sept 11, 2012 0:05:01 GMT -5
As she took in the scene around her, her head tilted as the realization and recognition of her family members hit her memory. And Edward...standing there his arm outreached for hers. She looked at his hand then back to his face. Her stance changed from defensive to loving as her eyes met his again.
Bella rushed into his arms hugging him tightly, as a moan escapes him. She pulls away quickly, examining his face seeing slight pain. "Oops." She looked down and felt a blush coming on, except no blood filled her cheeks.
She could hear a heartbeat near her as it distracted her focus. Her mouth pooled with venom as she peered over Edward's shoulder. Her eyes darting from Jasper, to Emmett to Carlisle to Jacob. Stepping back from Edward she turned back to the mirror and couldn't believe it was her own reflection...she was....beautiful.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Sept 11, 2012 0:06:22 GMT -5
Her skin no longer smolders with heat under my touch, but is the same temperature as mine, and as delicately smooth and inviting as satin.
The sensation is beyond description.
Bella's watching gaze softens; it is scarcely noticeable, but I see it, and my fingers tingle from their point of contact with her skin. Unable to resist, I let my palm mold itself to the shape of her face. The softening in her eyes intensifies, and although the color has changed, my mind immediately recognizes the warmth dominating her stare.
Desire.
I arch one eyebrow, waiting for her to speak, while the rest of me is utterly baffled.
All that newborns crave is blood. They exist that way for a few years – animalistic, ruled by their needs – until the more civil, human tendencies begin to resurface. I was prepared to deal with those rough months at Bella's side, helping her combat the darker part of herself, and wait for the day when she would be more like…Bella.
I should know better than to underestimate her.
A rush of air, a blur of motion – and thin arms stronger than iron are wrapped around me, so tight that it actually causes pain to register in my nerves. Bella presses her face into my chest, inhaling deeply as she used to when she was human, and her grip tightens. The pain flares, twisting my features into a grimace, and I shift my weight to lean away.
Her head lifts at once, looking up at me in confusion and fear. A dull ache throbs in my dead heart at the notion that she is afraid I might reject her; I need to clarify without alarming her – and to free myself from her increasingly constricting embrace. "Um…carefully, Bella." I wince. "Ow."
Horror washes across her face and she pulls away, clasping her arms behind her back. "Oops" she mouths.
She remembers from my and Jasper's explanations months ago that newborns are considerably stronger than mature vampires. I take that as a good sign.
I smile at her crookedly, the pain fading from my limbs, and touch her rounded lips with my fingers. "Don't panic, love. You're just a bit stronger than I am for the moment."
Her brow furrows, a little crease appearing in the center of her forehead. I turn my hand – the one touching her mouth – sideways, and softly stroke her cheek with my knuckles. Warmth, like blazing embers, fills her eyes and sends an electric jolt into the pit of my stomach.
Bella unlocks her arms and brings her right hand forward with deliberate care. Eyes never straying from mine, she places her palm against my face as if I am made of glass. A shudder quivers down my spine in response to the familiar, and yet so different, caress.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Sept 11, 2012 0:09:36 GMT -5
She turns around to face him with such loving eyes, eyes that told the story that she was indeed still..Bella. "I love you." As she touched his cheek looking into his golden colored eyes and everything around her went dark, for she only saw her beloved Edward.
Bella continued to caress his face in admiration of how different his skin feels to her touch. No longer so cold...they share the same temperature. She could hear Jasper murmur something and looked over at him furrowing brows.
She can feel a tightness in her stomach, a burning in her throat. Determined to ignore it for the moment just wanting and needing his touch. Familiarity. Then she remembers...."Renesmee...." She whispers knowing everyone could hear her. She listens hard with her ears, noticing Rose missing from the room, a thump, thump, thump. Fluttering heart, that like a hummingbird in the meadows admiring flowers and fluttering by. It had to be her. She began to walk towards the sound only to be stopped by Edward. Looking at him questioningly......
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Post by Edward Cullen on Sept 11, 2012 0:10:20 GMT -5
"Renesmee." Her small hands slide from mine and fall to her stomach, pressing the palms against the blue silk. She looks down at herself, and clutches the fabric in her fists – then her gaze flicks over to me as she peers through lowered e yelashes.
I am not looking at Bella; Carlisle is speaking quickly to me with his thoughts, his eyes careful. We cannot allow her to be in the same room as Renesmee – not until we can be sure that she will not attack. I know how much it would mean to Bella – and to you, Edward – but it's just not possible now.
I lower my eyelids with slow deliberation – a wordless agreement. Of course I will not risk my daughter's life, and I know that Bella will feel the same way once she understands the danger.
"Bella," I begin softly, adopting a tender, calming tone that has worked miracles in the past. "That's not really a good idea." Sparks ignite red fire in her glare, and I continue, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, "She's half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control… You don't want to put her in danger, do you?"
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Post by Bella Cullen on Sept 11, 2012 0:13:02 GMT -5
Bella frowned at his question. Of coarse she didn't want her daughter in danger, but knew he was only being precautionary. She couldn't blame him there. Jasper and Edward looking as if they were having a mental conversation, likely about her. "What?" She asked tilting her head to the side, curious as to what she's not being told.
Edward grins and remains cool as always. She watches him, takes it all in and listens to what he says next.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Sept 11, 2012 0:13:27 GMT -5
Looking at her ruefully, I say, "You're making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when you've hunted."
She shoots a quick glance at Jasper, who continues to watch her worriedly, and then nods at me. "Okay, let's hunt." Bella unwinds my arms from around her waist, and keeps one of my hands tucked firmly in hers. A thread of excitement curls through my brain, causing my nerve endings to tingle. There are so many things that I want to share with my Bella, and now that we are finally on equal ground, all of those experiences are, at last, attainable.
One thing is for certain, I muse to myself, acutely aware of the small, slim hand clasping my fingers, and the delightfully alluring perfume of the alabaster skin that now matches mine.
This will be a night to remember.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Sept 11, 2012 2:13:25 GMT -5
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