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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 23, 2013 14:34:09 GMT -5
~Flashback; Human Bella~
Bella sighed as Edward left the room, obviously upset that her decision to be turned was one that would not change. He refused to accept it, refused to let things happen the way Alice had seen them happen. She'd learned in Italy that she would one day be a part of the Cullen family...as a vampire, as one of them. Alice's visions were always subject to change but she knew that this was one thing that wouldn't. The only variable that would--who would turn her. He slammed the door to the Cullen house and left her there with his family. She knew he needed time, so she just stood there in the center of the room as the rest of them scattered. All but Esme who gave her a warm smile. She turned to look at the woman who was like the mother to all of them, the matriarch of the family. "Will he ever realize this is just what I want?"
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Post by Esme Cullen on Apr 23, 2013 14:44:08 GMT -5
Seeing Bella's consternation at Edward's reaction, I smiled at her. I know the feeling of a woman in love, and she is most definitely in love with my son.
Taking her hand, I led her to the sofa, where we sat together. "Sweetheart, he knows this is what you want. However, he doesn't know how you will react in the future to all you would leave behind. Of course, you will be together for eternity, and that's a wonderful thing."
Taking an unnecessary deep breath, I continued. "There's many things to consider, and he doesn't think you are considering all of them. You will never age. Now for we women, that's a good thing! But with the fact that you will never change comes pitfalls. For example, not being able to have children, or grandchildren. Experiencing the everyday joys of parenthood. Is that something you are willing to put aside in exchange for forever? You will outlive your family - Charlie and Renee. Now that in itself isn't as drastic as it sounds, most children outlive their parents. But you will outlive them in infinity. Everyone you know will be gone and you will still be the same. Are you truly ready for that?"
Patting her hand gently, I smiled at her, having a good feeling about how she would respond.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 23, 2013 14:51:21 GMT -5
She sighed and looked down at her hands, knowing that Esme was right and she'd heard all this, most of it, from Edward. Bella knew the consequences, she knew what she was giving up and sacrificing but hearing it from Esme made it more real, made her realize that she'd have to watch her family, her friends, anyone she'd meet eventually die.
Looking back up she turned her head to the side and nodded. "I know the sacrifices, I never really thought about kids. I mean, I'm sure every normal girl dreams of being a parent but I never did. It's something I can stand to lose. I just know that I want Edward, forever. If I'm human....something will eventually separate us. Death, I'll die...he won't. If he changes me then...I'll be with him forever. You all did it, I know I can."
She looked down and spoke softly in barely a whisper knowing she'd hear. "After I'm changed I won't ever see my family again anyway."
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Post by Esme Cullen on Apr 23, 2013 15:05:42 GMT -5
Listening to Bella speak, I knew that this girl - no - this woman, was ready to give up everything to love my son for the rest of their existence. I knew this already - I didn't have to hear it from her lips.
Her last words bothered me though. The thought of never seeing her family again must weigh heavily on her mind.
"Bella honey, you know that you will not be able to tell your family what is happening. The Volturi would step in, and it would put them in danger. It would be death or vampire life for them as well. You may be able to speak with your parents on the phone, but you would not be able to see them for at least a year after your transformation. The newborn year is the hardest. After that, you might - just might - be able to see them, but not for too long. They will notice that you aren't aging. Can you handle that?"
Looking into Bella's warm chocolate brown eyes, so similar to the color her own had been when she was human, she asked "Are you ready for all of that? All that you will have to sacrifice?"
"Edward feels that he can't take those choices away from you, as they were taken from him - from all of us. It is up to you to search your soul, and decide if this is really what you want. Once you decide, there is no going back."
"As for Carlisle and I - we already consider you to be part of the family. No matter what you decide."
Feeling my maternal instincts kick in, I envelop her in a light hug.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 23, 2013 15:11:44 GMT -5
Bella let all of her words sink in fully, mentally and emotionally debating herself within. She wanted this life more than anything, she would willingly give up everything for Edward because she loved him and the thought of living without him was pure agony. They'd been apart for six months and all that got them was facing death head on, together. Couldn't he see they were meant to be together? Feeling Esme's arms around her broke her thoughts as she wrapped her arms around the woman. She was so...stone like, but yet soft and caring.
Pulling back to look at her she nodded and dropped her head. "I can't....risk it. Coming back and Charlie knowing something is different. It'll put him in risk and I can't do that. I can't ever come back." She felt the tears on the brink of falling and quickly wiped at her eyes. "I can't lose him again Esme. It nearly destroyed us, him. He's not taking my choice away, this is my choice...my choice is to be one of you."
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Post by Esme Cullen on Apr 23, 2013 15:19:55 GMT -5
Feeling my stone cold heart break as I watched Bella agonizing over her choice, I understood how she was torn about this. She wanted Edward desperately, but loved her family enough to give them up.
I hadn't had any experience with someone who willingly chose this life and I wondered how I would have reacted had I been in her situation. Then it hit me. I would react in exactly the same way. If Carlisle and I had been in this situation, I would have done anything - anything - to be with him for eternity.
It was then I knew for sure that Bella would one day join our family. As one of us in every way.
"My darling, I will help you in any way that I can. I hope you know that. When the time comes, and an explanation of sorts will need to be given to your parents about your "death", we will be here for you. It will be hard, but I have a feeling that with Edward, you will be able to make it through this. Carlisle and I will never be able to replace Charlie and Renee in your heart, but we will be here for you."
Smiling at her, I handed her a tissue from the box we kept on the side table for "appearance sake".
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 23, 2013 15:30:29 GMT -5
She smiled and took the tissue, dabbing at her eyes. "Thank you Esme, I really appreciate that." Bella knew she had a decision to make, one that would change her life forever and to her she'd made that decision, but Edward wasn't happy about it. Maybe they could reach some sort of compromise, a middle ground. She wanted him to be the one to change her and the recent vote from his family tonight all in favor of changing her only made things worse.
A smile came to her face when she heard the sounds of Edward and Emmett speaking in the kitchen. She hugged Esme once more tightly just like she did her own mother and pulled back. "I'm sure we'll figure out something, this is my decision, this is what I want. Thank you for standing by me." Edward entered the room with a frustrated look and reminded her that she'd need to get home before Charlie wakes for work and realizes she's gone again. Looking back at Esme, she nodded and stood. "Bye Esme. Thanks again."
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Post by Esme Cullen on Apr 23, 2013 15:33:58 GMT -5
"You're quite welcome Bella."
I smiled at her - this young woman who would one day become my daughter. I admired her. She was choosing love. Her love for my dear son was so obvious. I knew Edward felt it too, but I also knew that he was struggling with his choices.
Bella had made her choice, but Edward had yet to finally make his. I had no doubt that he would, as I watched them go out the door together.
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