Seeking Mother's Guidance

[Edward Cullen]

Edward Cullen had been going at a 'snail's pace' when it came to packing up his and Bella's belong's for their impending move that seemed to draw closer and closer with each passing second. He had tried to seek out their daughter Renesmee who was still avoiding speaking to him or Bella, angry and lashing out that she refused to leave with them. But knowing that she had a temper like her mother she would need time to cool off.

He had heard the start of a roaring engine and placed the last of his books into a box as he crossed to the window and saw that several removing vans were leaving the driveway from the large Cullen house, the others were on a two day hunting weekend preparing to take their leave in the next few days.

He exited the small cottage and sped the few meters away from the large house, the trees whirling past him as his feet carried him to the side entrance of the main house, he halted in his step as he saw that the house was empty. Not a single thing remained in the house, all of their memories packed away in boxes and already moved to Esme's and Carlisle's new location.

He glanced around, the house seemed so empty, so quiet, eerie. It sent chills down his spine, increasing his guilt that he was the main reason that the family had to uproot and leave the town of Forks. He crossed to the lounge and exited through the doors that led out onto the balcony as he leaned against the rails. The sun was high in the sky, his skin sparkling like diamonds from the glorious rays of sun. A moment of silence, sounded like an empty eternity, wishing for the thoughts of his beloved family to calm his never.

[Esme Cullen]

Looking around at the empty house, my thoughts drift to my family. How will they handle the necessary separation? We've been together for so very long. Turning, I hear the balcony doors being opened. Curious, I head out to the balcony.

Edward was there, leaning against the rail, seemingly deep in thought. A mother's intuition always knows when something is bothering one of her own.

Walking up to him, I stand next to him at the rail. Placing my hand over his as he turns to look at me.

"Edward, I can sense that you feel responsible for all this. Please let me assure you that you are not. You know as well as I do that we have stayed here in Forks much longer this time than usual. It was time to move on - past time. Do you want to talk about this? Let your feelings out. It will help, my precious son. You know that I am always here for you."

[Edward Cullen]

Edward continued to glance across the small river that lay beyond the trees, feeling the warmth against his granite like skin, engulfing him in a blanket of warmth that tingled through every pore on his cooled skin. His skin sparkling in a coat of hard diamonds as their rays spread across the wooden rails giving them another layer on their own. His mind was clouded with dark and depressing thoughts that he had not felt since he had left his family's side when they had left Forks for the first time, on his journey alone when he had gone searching for Victoria.

Or when he had first received the news that Bella was dead, he could still remember the voice from the wolf Jacob Black.

'Swan residence... He's not here right now... He's arranging a funeral'

His mind had never been so black, so dark. He was momentarily brought out of his train of thoughts as he felt the presence of his mother Esme approach him and stand next to him. He listened to her words of wise wisdom, trying to absorb a comfort in them, but failing.

"I promised Bella that I would never hurt her...And it seems that every since she joined us. That is all that i have done, first Jacob Black, then Renesmee...and now Charlie. She should have been forced to make the decisions that she is making now. You and Carlisle spent so many years teaching me how to control my anger...and i attacked that Newton boy..and now you are all paying the consequences of my foolish actions" he ended on a crisp whisper.

[Esme Cullen]

As Edward poured out the thoughts that were darkening his mind, I knew he was in a bad place mentally. I could only hope that I could ease his troubles somehow and make him understand this was not his fault. It was coming anyway, regardless, and had to be done.

"Dearest Edward. You underestimate your mate. Bella went into this with her eyes wide open. She knew the choices that must be made to join you in this life. She chose you. She chose to have Renesmee, in spite of your objections. Her ties to Jacob were all set in motion as a result of her decision to love only you, and Renesmee's eventual birth. As for Charlie, she knew that she would have to leave someday. She may still be able to keep in touch with him."

Giving him time to digest what I had said thus far, I took a deep, unnecessary breath and continued.

"As for the Newton boy, well my darling, you reacted much as any normal human husband would have reacted hearing impure thoughts about his wife. The only difference is that you could read them through his mind. Human men read it through actions, body language, and spoken word. It's understandable. You and Bella have gone through so very much to be together, and you have a love that will transcend the ages - lasting forever."

"We are not paying the price for your actions. We needed to go. Carlisle had talked about it before. We had stayed too long because we all love it here. We've nearly exhausted the supply of suitable food sources. It will need a few decades to replenish. Carlisle has worked at the hospital for a long time now, and they are beginning to notice that he isn't aging. It was time to leave, son. It's not a goodbye. It's but a brief blink in the arc of forever that we have. We will all be together again. Please stop blaming yourself. Your father and I do not blame you for this at all."

Looking at him with a worried, concerned expression, I sincerely hoped this was helping. I hated seeing Edward so torn about this.

[Edward Cullen]

Edward felt a comfort in his mother's words, knowing that she was trying to help soothe his mind from the blistering thoughts that clouded his mind from thinking clear. Although he had temporary of bringing Charlie over to this life with them so that Bella would never have to leave him. That she could have him forever as he had his family forever.

To spend an eternity together and explore what the world had to offer, too see how the world changed whilst they remained the same; unchanging and unable to develop into old age. He remembered a conversation with Rosalie some many years ago about how she was grateful for the chance to live again, but to have the chance to live and die as a human, surrounded by the ones that she loved, her children, her grandchildren.

She was thankful to be apart of this family that they called themselves, a family first, a coven second. Something that he had always wanted whilst he watched his brothers and sisters with their significant others whilst he remained alone until that day he came across Bella in the cafeteria at Forks High School.

"I have forced Bella to make a choice between me and her father Esme, a choice that she should not have been forced to make. I promised her an eternity of happiness, she gave me something that i never believed to have. She made me a lover, a husband...a father to Renesmee. Something that i never thought i would have" he finished.

He glared out onto the beautiful scenery laid out before him, in a moment like this he truly believed that he was not a monster, he was in somewhat a man. After years of believing that he was a monster in a disguise of a teenage boy. Everything about his drawing un-suspecting humans in; his face, his voice and even his smell; he was the world's worst predator.

"Time means nothing to us Esme, because we have lived for so long, but for Bella this will be her first, her first of everything. I cannot hear her thoughts unless she allows it. But i know there is things that she keeps from me. I know that Renesmee blames me for what i did. She will fight with me on what i think is best for her...She won't leave the wolf behind, and he cannot leave. So what do i do? How do i make this right?" he asked turning to face his mother.

[Esme Cullen]

Seeing the agony reflected in his face, I ached for him. Always the conscientious one - always willing to take the blame, even when it wasn't his to take.

"Dearest son. You have not forced Bella to choose between you and her father. When a person marries, they leave their parents and make the choice to be with their spouse. Till death us do part. It's just that in our case, that seldom happens - the death part anyway."

Smiling at him, I continued. "Renesmee may blame you at first. But know this - she is behaving like a typical teenager. Complete with all the angst of leaving her friends, especially Jacob, behind. She will come to terms with it. Jacob loves her. They will find a way. Adolescents frequently blame their parents for anything that happens in this day and age. It's normal. And it will resolve. Trust me on this. Remember how you rebelled against Carlisle all those years ago and went off on your own? You sorted it out and became a better person for it."

"As for you making it right - there is nothing for you to put right. We have to leave. You know that. We've left before. We can never stay in one place too long to avoid suspicion. Even if the incident at the reunion hadn't happened, we would have to leave soon anyway. The whole aging thing, you know." Smiling up at him.

"I don't know how long we'll be away, but trust me, it will be fine. You will always have your Bella. She would never leave you. You will always have your daughter. We will keep in frequent contact with each other, and we'll visit as much as we can. I love you, my darling son. Please don't worry."

[Edward Cullen]

Esme was right, his mother was right. They would have had to move eventually, their source of food had become harder to find and they were having to travel out further to feed and adding to the risk that they would be found out. He knew that it was hurting Bella for the possibility that they might have to leave their daughter behind, but it was something that he had put to the back of his mind, not wishing to even think about it. Trying to find another way around it, but there was no other way.

"I wish to bring Bella back, every year for a few days. I cannot steal that from her, to never see her father, to not be there for her father for when the time comes for him to pass. I cannot put her in that kind of pain. Her memories are fresh, she has the luxury of remembering what i could not when i was a human" he turned to Esme, letting a small smile creep across his face for the first time today.

He knew that Bella would not leave without their daughter by their side, he knew that he needed to talk with Bella and Jacob soon before their day of departure grew closer. For the first time, Forks felt like home to him, and now it would not be home without all his family around him.

"Promise me...Promise me that we shall reunite and that we will be together soon mother. I hate us not being together as a family" he whispered.

[Esme Cullen]

Seeing the smile on Edward's face, even though small, brought joy to my soul. He will be alright, and we will all get through this.

Taking his hand in mine and patting it gently, I reassured him. "My darling son, I promise you that we shall be together again very soon. None of us relish the idea of being apart for any length of time. Treat this as a vacation. Travel and enjoy your alone time. We will be together again soon. This I promise you. I can't bear being away from my children and now, of course, my grandchildren - Renesmee and Ryder."

"I think your idea to bring Bella back for a few days each year is a very good one. It will make her happy, as well as Charlie. If need be, precautions can be taken to make the visit secret. Charlie knows enough that he would respect that need. It seems like a perfect solution to me."

So pleased that he had figured things out, and so hoping that he would stop blaming himself. Mothers always worry - no matter how old their sons and daughters - even if they are immortal.