Post by Esme Cullen on Mar 6, 2013 23:23:27 GMT -5
devoted-everlasting.proboards.com/thread/433/lasting-impressions-1
Sitting on the edge of the cliff that overlooked the forest of Forks, WA she began to remember the night she stood on a cliff that resembled this one. It was at her lowest points in her human life when she felt like she couldn't go on.
From the moment she'd said "I do", her whole world had changed and not in a good way that women often dream of when they marry someone. It wasn't a marriage of convenience, nor was it a marriage between two madly in love adults. It was a marriage of a girl trying to please her parents. At the age of 22, Esme thought she had her life planned out, she wanted to be a teacher and move west, but at the insistence of her parents, marriage was the better of the two. It was 1917 and women of that time needed to be one thing: wives and mothers. She wasn't opposed to it completely, giving it a try seemed worth it even if it was only to please her parents. Until she met Charles Evenson. On the surface he seemed like he was perfect, great provider, great man.
The minute they were alone on her honeymoon, love did not ensue only anger did. When she didn't do exactly as he asked or have things exactly as he wanted them he used his fist to make her understand. A week later she confided in her mother about the bruise on her cheek and they insisted she keep that to herself. "Matters between husband and wife are a private matter, you must please your husband as he wishes Esme." Her mother would say. How could they just ignore it, make her feel like she was wrong? She endured it and continued to put on a smile under all the pain she felt inside.
Relief finally came in the form of World War I draft. Charles was drafted into the war and it sickened her that she prayed for his demise. As the months went on without him she was able to get the glow back that everyone so loved about her. She was a bright, loving person who cared deeply for her family. Two years later in 1919, her glow was snuffed out when he returned. She became a shell of herself, forcing a smile to her face.
A year later when she learned she would be having his child, she prayed it would keep his hands off of her at least for the nine months she needed to carry. Wrong. He never hit her stomach, but her face and arms took the brunt of it all. He was a cruel sadistic mean man. That night after he beat her, she vowed it was for the last time. Once he passed out from his whiskey, she grabbed her bag of necessities and made her way to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, hoping to find refuge in her cousin's home.
That was short lived, three months later he found her. Before he could harm her again she packed up and made her way down to Ashland, Kentucky and told everyone she was a war widow. The townspeople were welcoming to her and her unborn child, very accommodating and generous. She finally felt safe. It seemed Ashland was her saving grace, finding work as a local school teacher finally fulfilling her childhood dream that she always held dear to her heart. The glow slowly came back to her as she started over and made a life for herself.
The pains struck her late night and she cried out, clutching her abdomen. It was time. Labored breathing and screams filled the room she was in at the local hospital. Struggling with the birth for more than six hours, she finally welcomed her baby boy into the world. Thomas Platt was her pride and joy as she nursed him and held him close to her, the brightest smile on her face. Charles would never hurt her or her child.
Two days later her world shattered. The nurse sadly told her that Thomas had passed in the night, they did all they could but the infant had a case of lung fever that was incurable. She threw her hands up to her face as she sobbed hard, feeling her heart breaking into pieces. Everything that mattered to her was gone, she had nothing left....nothing left to live for. The pain in her chest was tight and made her soul crumble. Nothing....she had nothing.
Once the nurses were busy with shift change, she snuck out of the hospital and ran into the woods behind the building. She ran until she couldn't run any more. Branches scraping her legs as she ran barefoot through the wooded earth, her sobs could not be heard. Her chest burned because of her lack of oxygen in her lungs but she pushed herself and continued to run. Stopping only when she came to the edge of a cliff. Bringing her hands up to her head and clutching her hair as she cried out into the silent night.
"WHYYYYYYY, Oh God why?" She cried harder and slumped down, rocking back and fourth feeling the pain overwhelm her and take over every other emotion. Anger and pain was all she felt, the numbness in her fingers because of the cold did not matter. There was no reason for her to live anymore, she had nothing but pain. Looking over the edge as tears ran freely down her cheeks, she slowly stood and edged closer. Rocks fell down the side and she saw how far down it was with boulders at the bottom. Looking up and out into the night, she took a final breath and stepped forward finding no solid ground as she tumbled off of the cliff, welcoming death with open arms.
Sitting on the edge of the cliff that overlooked the forest of Forks, WA she began to remember the night she stood on a cliff that resembled this one. It was at her lowest points in her human life when she felt like she couldn't go on.
From the moment she'd said "I do", her whole world had changed and not in a good way that women often dream of when they marry someone. It wasn't a marriage of convenience, nor was it a marriage between two madly in love adults. It was a marriage of a girl trying to please her parents. At the age of 22, Esme thought she had her life planned out, she wanted to be a teacher and move west, but at the insistence of her parents, marriage was the better of the two. It was 1917 and women of that time needed to be one thing: wives and mothers. She wasn't opposed to it completely, giving it a try seemed worth it even if it was only to please her parents. Until she met Charles Evenson. On the surface he seemed like he was perfect, great provider, great man.
The minute they were alone on her honeymoon, love did not ensue only anger did. When she didn't do exactly as he asked or have things exactly as he wanted them he used his fist to make her understand. A week later she confided in her mother about the bruise on her cheek and they insisted she keep that to herself. "Matters between husband and wife are a private matter, you must please your husband as he wishes Esme." Her mother would say. How could they just ignore it, make her feel like she was wrong? She endured it and continued to put on a smile under all the pain she felt inside.
Relief finally came in the form of World War I draft. Charles was drafted into the war and it sickened her that she prayed for his demise. As the months went on without him she was able to get the glow back that everyone so loved about her. She was a bright, loving person who cared deeply for her family. Two years later in 1919, her glow was snuffed out when he returned. She became a shell of herself, forcing a smile to her face.
A year later when she learned she would be having his child, she prayed it would keep his hands off of her at least for the nine months she needed to carry. Wrong. He never hit her stomach, but her face and arms took the brunt of it all. He was a cruel sadistic mean man. That night after he beat her, she vowed it was for the last time. Once he passed out from his whiskey, she grabbed her bag of necessities and made her way to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, hoping to find refuge in her cousin's home.
That was short lived, three months later he found her. Before he could harm her again she packed up and made her way down to Ashland, Kentucky and told everyone she was a war widow. The townspeople were welcoming to her and her unborn child, very accommodating and generous. She finally felt safe. It seemed Ashland was her saving grace, finding work as a local school teacher finally fulfilling her childhood dream that she always held dear to her heart. The glow slowly came back to her as she started over and made a life for herself.
The pains struck her late night and she cried out, clutching her abdomen. It was time. Labored breathing and screams filled the room she was in at the local hospital. Struggling with the birth for more than six hours, she finally welcomed her baby boy into the world. Thomas Platt was her pride and joy as she nursed him and held him close to her, the brightest smile on her face. Charles would never hurt her or her child.
Two days later her world shattered. The nurse sadly told her that Thomas had passed in the night, they did all they could but the infant had a case of lung fever that was incurable. She threw her hands up to her face as she sobbed hard, feeling her heart breaking into pieces. Everything that mattered to her was gone, she had nothing left....nothing left to live for. The pain in her chest was tight and made her soul crumble. Nothing....she had nothing.
Once the nurses were busy with shift change, she snuck out of the hospital and ran into the woods behind the building. She ran until she couldn't run any more. Branches scraping her legs as she ran barefoot through the wooded earth, her sobs could not be heard. Her chest burned because of her lack of oxygen in her lungs but she pushed herself and continued to run. Stopping only when she came to the edge of a cliff. Bringing her hands up to her head and clutching her hair as she cried out into the silent night.
"WHYYYYYYY, Oh God why?" She cried harder and slumped down, rocking back and fourth feeling the pain overwhelm her and take over every other emotion. Anger and pain was all she felt, the numbness in her fingers because of the cold did not matter. There was no reason for her to live anymore, she had nothing but pain. Looking over the edge as tears ran freely down her cheeks, she slowly stood and edged closer. Rocks fell down the side and she saw how far down it was with boulders at the bottom. Looking up and out into the night, she took a final breath and stepped forward finding no solid ground as she tumbled off of the cliff, welcoming death with open arms.
