Post by Edward Cullen on Feb 19, 2013 8:30:38 GMT -5
Edward Cullen released the tight hold his arms had created around his legs and stood up. He glanced at his surroundings, dazed and confused. It was almost--though he knew it was impossible--like he had slipped in to a coma, dare he say it, sleep like state. However unlike any memories he retained of sleep this was neither peaceful nor restful. This was hardly a reprieve from the constant insomnia, if anything it was a haze, a dull painful nightmare charged episode that lasted indefinitely. To put it lightly, it left him confused. It left Edward wondering what he was doing, and then that led to the obvious query of why he was doing it which in turn left him feeling miserable beyond words.
It was as though he was finally acknowledging what he had kept locked up. That mysterious door he continually shied away from. That door had been opened, its gilded doorknob had swung forth and unveiled what he had been trying to hide. He was miserable. Wholly and completely. Edward knew the pain would not get better. He knew there was no release to the madness. It wasn't the pain or the agony or any of the nightmarish memories that plagued him that had him disillusioned. It was the fact that he would never, ever be able to see Bella again. It was like having a terminal illness and knowing the cure, yet refraining from reaching out an procuring the remedy. It wasn't the pain he wanted to heal. It was the hollow feeling, the sense that my non-existent heart had been ripped out.
Edward turned toward his bag and quickly sifted through the articles of clothing. His suspicions were correct. The cell phone was not there. This did not help the issue of when it was. He had looked up at the sky seeing the dawn glowing streak peek through the forest. The last he had remembered it was around twilight. He focused now zeroing in on things a human would not have noticed. Despite his already cold body temperature he could detect a four point seven degree drop in the temperature. The bark of the trees had begun to darken, the trees were covered in a thin stubble of frost. Each leaf was coated in an icy layer. The ice looked a few days old. He glanced back around at his surroundings then he looked down at himself.
He stared at what he was wearing in disgust. He hadn't bothered to change in over a week, and there was a splatter of blood across his left pant leg. How careless. He quickly pulled out a grey shirt and pair of dark jeans. He changed swiftly and moved back to the car. Luckily there was a GPS built in, if it could locate him in the middle of the Canadian Wilderness then it probably could tell him the date. Hopefully.
As he neared the car he noticed a thin layer of dust and leaves that had fallen from the trees above. How long had he collapsed? He entered the car swiftly and he glanced toward the the screen of the GPS. As it slowly flickered to life he impatiently drummed his fingers. Now that he had drowned in pain he was anxious to make up for lost time. By no means had the contents of that locked door been resolved, it was more that they had been overwhelmed by a more pressing urge, or distracting one at the least, that bade him to protect Bella. He needed to find Victoria. Edward mentally tabulated the date as the machine continued to start up. It had been October 5th when he had begun to track Victoria once again.
Now, what was it? The cold weather, dusty car, and icy forest indicated that time had certainly passed. But how much? Had a sudden cold spell overcome this area of the country? Had it been just about ten hours? It certainly felt longer. But surely it couldn't have been more than a two days, right? Finally the screen of the GPS welcomed him, brightening to show today's date. NOVEMBER 10th.
He stared uncomprehendingly at the machine. Over a month? Perhaps the machine had broken, you never could be sure. He glanced back up at the gray sky. Then he slowly reviewed what he had unconsciously picked up as he had been inflicted with pain. The extreme cool that hit his face for a while, the sounds of animals slowing down and starting to hibernate, the pelting of rain, and--was it?--hail. November. What?! He had lost track of Victoria for over thirty days, who knew what destruction she had reeked upon the innocents! It was that brief strain of a thought that reminded Edward why he was here and made him question his motives.
Protector of the innocents, valiant against the evil, it all suddenly came together. He had, and it hurt him to think so, almost returned to his old days. The days when destruction was synonymous with confidence. The time when he would dispose, to put it lightly, of who he thought was too filthy to walk the earth. Surely it wasn't that now? He would stop with Victoria, clear the world of that little imperfection, and never hunt or kill again. He was confronted with the question, what would he do?
As a vampire he was used to never having any friends besides his family. Any single human he would meet would either pose as temptation or irritation. Humans were such flitting, brief things. Their brief candlelight life would flicker on and off, their hopes, their dreams, would never be like his. It was strange but he actually learned the most last year. He learned about a very special candlelight, Bella. He found someone he could truly be with, but left her for the better, he reminded himself.
He felt like he had been repeating the same thing numerous times. He had wrestled with this unruly chasm one time too many. He was ready to--not move on--but to move. Edward would, despite his earlier revelation, continue what he had started.
It was as though he was finally acknowledging what he had kept locked up. That mysterious door he continually shied away from. That door had been opened, its gilded doorknob had swung forth and unveiled what he had been trying to hide. He was miserable. Wholly and completely. Edward knew the pain would not get better. He knew there was no release to the madness. It wasn't the pain or the agony or any of the nightmarish memories that plagued him that had him disillusioned. It was the fact that he would never, ever be able to see Bella again. It was like having a terminal illness and knowing the cure, yet refraining from reaching out an procuring the remedy. It wasn't the pain he wanted to heal. It was the hollow feeling, the sense that my non-existent heart had been ripped out.
Edward turned toward his bag and quickly sifted through the articles of clothing. His suspicions were correct. The cell phone was not there. This did not help the issue of when it was. He had looked up at the sky seeing the dawn glowing streak peek through the forest. The last he had remembered it was around twilight. He focused now zeroing in on things a human would not have noticed. Despite his already cold body temperature he could detect a four point seven degree drop in the temperature. The bark of the trees had begun to darken, the trees were covered in a thin stubble of frost. Each leaf was coated in an icy layer. The ice looked a few days old. He glanced back around at his surroundings then he looked down at himself.
He stared at what he was wearing in disgust. He hadn't bothered to change in over a week, and there was a splatter of blood across his left pant leg. How careless. He quickly pulled out a grey shirt and pair of dark jeans. He changed swiftly and moved back to the car. Luckily there was a GPS built in, if it could locate him in the middle of the Canadian Wilderness then it probably could tell him the date. Hopefully.
As he neared the car he noticed a thin layer of dust and leaves that had fallen from the trees above. How long had he collapsed? He entered the car swiftly and he glanced toward the the screen of the GPS. As it slowly flickered to life he impatiently drummed his fingers. Now that he had drowned in pain he was anxious to make up for lost time. By no means had the contents of that locked door been resolved, it was more that they had been overwhelmed by a more pressing urge, or distracting one at the least, that bade him to protect Bella. He needed to find Victoria. Edward mentally tabulated the date as the machine continued to start up. It had been October 5th when he had begun to track Victoria once again.
Now, what was it? The cold weather, dusty car, and icy forest indicated that time had certainly passed. But how much? Had a sudden cold spell overcome this area of the country? Had it been just about ten hours? It certainly felt longer. But surely it couldn't have been more than a two days, right? Finally the screen of the GPS welcomed him, brightening to show today's date. NOVEMBER 10th.
He stared uncomprehendingly at the machine. Over a month? Perhaps the machine had broken, you never could be sure. He glanced back up at the gray sky. Then he slowly reviewed what he had unconsciously picked up as he had been inflicted with pain. The extreme cool that hit his face for a while, the sounds of animals slowing down and starting to hibernate, the pelting of rain, and--was it?--hail. November. What?! He had lost track of Victoria for over thirty days, who knew what destruction she had reeked upon the innocents! It was that brief strain of a thought that reminded Edward why he was here and made him question his motives.
Protector of the innocents, valiant against the evil, it all suddenly came together. He had, and it hurt him to think so, almost returned to his old days. The days when destruction was synonymous with confidence. The time when he would dispose, to put it lightly, of who he thought was too filthy to walk the earth. Surely it wasn't that now? He would stop with Victoria, clear the world of that little imperfection, and never hunt or kill again. He was confronted with the question, what would he do?
As a vampire he was used to never having any friends besides his family. Any single human he would meet would either pose as temptation or irritation. Humans were such flitting, brief things. Their brief candlelight life would flicker on and off, their hopes, their dreams, would never be like his. It was strange but he actually learned the most last year. He learned about a very special candlelight, Bella. He found someone he could truly be with, but left her for the better, he reminded himself.
He felt like he had been repeating the same thing numerous times. He had wrestled with this unruly chasm one time too many. He was ready to--not move on--but to move. Edward would, despite his earlier revelation, continue what he had started.
