Post by Bella Cullen on Dec 27, 2012 14:15:56 GMT -5
Do I regret moving from Phoenix to live with my dad in Forks? At first it seemed to be something I'd quickly bore of. Charlie and I never had that close of a relationship. It was awkward at times, but that's where I share my genes with my father....and he didn't hover like my mother does. It was that first day at school when I saw him walk through the door, looking like he had not a care in the world and regretted being there. The class we shared together seemed to pain him, his eyes and clenched jaw were something I took notice to. I couldn't speak. Edward Cullen...such a mystery. Forks was turning out to be what I'd imagined it would be. That cold, wet day that Tyler's van slid across black ice...that's the day I knew I was wrong. Forks had just gotten more interesting. Never had I seen someone stop a moving van...with their hand. I wasn't seeing things. I knew what I saw. From that moment on, I seemed to not be able to stay away from him....and it seemed to be the same for him. There was this undeniable connection between us. Neither of us knew or wanted to admit it, but just the sound of his voice or the feel of his body close to mine...I instantly felt calm. Even when I learned your secret...it only made me love you more. Do I regret Forks? No....it led me to you.
When you left because you thought I was better off at a normal human life and your presence wouldn't allow that to happen. You were wrong...so wrong. All I needed was you, all I wanted was you. Those four months were the longest and most painful months of my life. A piece of me was missing, a hole in my heart and soul where you used to be. We proved time and time again that separating was always going to be our downfall. The day Alice saw you willing to reveal yourself because you thought you lost me, I died inside at the thought of losing you forever. It only led me to you....
The day you asked me to be your wife, I let my fears override my joy. But I couldn't tell you no, because all I wanted was you...forever. I knew the choices I was making, I knew the risks and I knew the pain it caused you for not understanding my reasoning. I said yes because I love you, I said yes because I wanted to be only yours just as much as I wanted you to be only mine. Forever together...that's all I wanted. I thought I'd explode of nerves on our wedding day. Seeing our friends and family watch me walk down the isle, all I saw was you. Your smile melted away all my fears and anxiety. Your eyes met mine and I had to stop myself from running to you. It was a path I'd chosen and I don't regret it...because it led me to you.
Our lives were forever changed the moment we realized vampires and humans could reproduce. I refused to give up on our child because I knew it was a part of us both. The best parts of us, all wrapped into one person. Your fears were valid, but my hope was strong. My will and determination to prove everyone wrong overrode the fears I secretly had. I didn't want to lose you, but I had faith in your ability to save me. My choices were risky, but do I regret them? No....it led me to you.
And now I'm immortal and our daughter seems to be immortal as well. I get to have you both forever and all my choices in this life...it's all led me to you.
When you left because you thought I was better off at a normal human life and your presence wouldn't allow that to happen. You were wrong...so wrong. All I needed was you, all I wanted was you. Those four months were the longest and most painful months of my life. A piece of me was missing, a hole in my heart and soul where you used to be. We proved time and time again that separating was always going to be our downfall. The day Alice saw you willing to reveal yourself because you thought you lost me, I died inside at the thought of losing you forever. It only led me to you....
The day you asked me to be your wife, I let my fears override my joy. But I couldn't tell you no, because all I wanted was you...forever. I knew the choices I was making, I knew the risks and I knew the pain it caused you for not understanding my reasoning. I said yes because I love you, I said yes because I wanted to be only yours just as much as I wanted you to be only mine. Forever together...that's all I wanted. I thought I'd explode of nerves on our wedding day. Seeing our friends and family watch me walk down the isle, all I saw was you. Your smile melted away all my fears and anxiety. Your eyes met mine and I had to stop myself from running to you. It was a path I'd chosen and I don't regret it...because it led me to you.
Our lives were forever changed the moment we realized vampires and humans could reproduce. I refused to give up on our child because I knew it was a part of us both. The best parts of us, all wrapped into one person. Your fears were valid, but my hope was strong. My will and determination to prove everyone wrong overrode the fears I secretly had. I didn't want to lose you, but I had faith in your ability to save me. My choices were risky, but do I regret them? No....it led me to you.
And now I'm immortal and our daughter seems to be immortal as well. I get to have you both forever and all my choices in this life...it's all led me to you.