Post by Edward Cullen on Dec 15, 2012 13:24:35 GMT -5
Edward Cullen raced through the night. Of course sleep was of no issue. Had he been human he might have considered today one of the longest days of his shallow existence. He scoffed, not only was the idea ludicrous but the thought that getting on a plane and driving seemed hardly impossible. Yet some how it was rendered so difficult.
He slowly took in the interior of the car, the gentle leather that lined the inside was top of the line, Rosalie would have approved. It had a flashy yet subtle class that reminded him oddly of a painting. Every part, every wood veneer inlay, fit together perfectly. Taking in the details of the car was an odd thing to do, even for Edward. Generally details were absorbed, osmosis one might speculate. Yet here he was stalking these details. Focusing on the creases and patterns as they were of vital information, it was all for a reason. He needed a distraction. He needed to take a break from the agony and obsession that plagued his life. It wasn't that Edward wanted to get rid of it. He welcomed the pain. He knew, however, that though it may be possible stalking Victoria while in such a state would be difficult.
He spared a embarrassed thought towards his family more people his presence had hurt. Emmett probably thought he was crazy. He wouldn't be the only one. Rosalie of course, once she got over herself, would hate him. Again a sport she wouldn't be alone in. Edward had wondered briefly why she thought that. He had come to the theory that she found his relationship with Bella similar to hers and Emmett's. Though she had tried to hide her thoughts and act indifferent as he had caught a glimpse. His decision to leave Bella, he winced, human either showed that he, in her eyes, didn't care that much about her—Edward almost smiled at the impossibility—or that he loved her more than she loved Emmett. She chose to accept the first. Rosalie had to be the best at everything in her mind. Alice however was a bit of a mystery. Her reaction would be resigned at the least. The last vision she had must have shown her something or she would have never have let him leave. She might miss having another person who could relate to what she felt. Edward however never had that. Jasper might miss a fighting partner, and he might be even relieved by the change in the other's emotions. Esme—it was too hard to think about her. Edward Cullen's sweet and caring mother never deserved the treatment he had given her. It hurt him that she saw him as the son he knew that he could never live up to be.
He didn't deserve this kind of love or affection. And…Carlisle. His father, his mentor, his protector. What did he think now? Did he loathe him for the hurt he had caused the family—no, he could never loathe. Was he disappointed that he had to run away again?
Once again his thoughts returned to the hole that had returned again. Running away was something that he did best. He heard a gentle snap; the steering wheel had cracked under my grip. Edward lifted his hand off, his hands had molded the wheel. He gently pulverized the rest of the molding leaving a slightly thinner version of the wheel. Destroy the evidence. Edward gripped his knee not wanting to ruin anything else. It required physical effort to cling to the scraps of humanity that still remained. The scraps that had been shrunk and regrouped during the centuries had changed. In the last few years he had found a part of himself that seemed missing. These scraps had been intensified with her presence. It was funny, if you had a sick and sadistic mind as Edward considered himself too have. From the first time he met her, Bella, had seemed weak and defenseless. But, here was Edward, the supposed stronger species and he was unable to survive. He was supposed to be the killer whale, she the baby seal. This was the way things were supposed to be. He shook my head. Trying, vainly to dispel the thoughts. It was hard to do. Generally he could block off the rush of thoughts that continued
Bella would be fine. He was sure of the fact. Her mind, though curiously complex was only human. She would forget him, and his family. Though this seemingly understood fact was supposed to cheer him up there was a small twinge of sadness. A sad rebelliously selfish part of his mind hoped that she hadn't skipped off into the sunset. But, who knew? He certainly didn't. He mustn't think such thoughts. It wasn't fair, to either of them. He had one promise he would honor.
Edward continued his ruminations through the night as the Canadian forest melted at his sides. He would catch himself staring out the sides, scanning the highways for thoughts. Finally he saw himself drawing near the part entrance. There was about two miles so he turned off the road and maneuvered the car through the dense forest. The spruces were lighting up as he came upon the trees. Finally he found a spot and once again he abandoned the car. Edward grabbed his bags and scanned quickly over the car making sure he didn't leave anything behind. He repeated the process of wiping of evidence and soon he ran into the woods. Edward soon came upon a clearing; He ripped down the trees surrounding the area taming the woods into a more suitable shape. Edward quickly stacked the logs hammering them together with his fists. After about twenty minutes of work a small lean to was built. He placed his bag inside.
He ran through the forest, staying a close fifty miles to his makeshift home, taking a brief scan over the things he saw. He saw the burnt out area of a campsite and approached it. There were the remnants of wrappers and a shred of a magazine. The shiny pages said this was the November/December issue. This was later than he had been thinking; Edward had been previously confused of the date. He took magazine back to his habitat so that he would have some chain to humanity. Here among the trees, living like the primal beast he was, it was all to easy to forget why he was here. Why Edward was doing this. Then, unthinkably fast the pain approached. It was hard to make it back into the habitat. Every step reminded him of Bella, wince, and his journey through the woods to their place. The place where dreams had seemed possible. He collapsed on the floor of the house. Then, he, Edward Cullen the sleepless monster, drifted into the anguish.
He slowly took in the interior of the car, the gentle leather that lined the inside was top of the line, Rosalie would have approved. It had a flashy yet subtle class that reminded him oddly of a painting. Every part, every wood veneer inlay, fit together perfectly. Taking in the details of the car was an odd thing to do, even for Edward. Generally details were absorbed, osmosis one might speculate. Yet here he was stalking these details. Focusing on the creases and patterns as they were of vital information, it was all for a reason. He needed a distraction. He needed to take a break from the agony and obsession that plagued his life. It wasn't that Edward wanted to get rid of it. He welcomed the pain. He knew, however, that though it may be possible stalking Victoria while in such a state would be difficult.
He spared a embarrassed thought towards his family more people his presence had hurt. Emmett probably thought he was crazy. He wouldn't be the only one. Rosalie of course, once she got over herself, would hate him. Again a sport she wouldn't be alone in. Edward had wondered briefly why she thought that. He had come to the theory that she found his relationship with Bella similar to hers and Emmett's. Though she had tried to hide her thoughts and act indifferent as he had caught a glimpse. His decision to leave Bella, he winced, human either showed that he, in her eyes, didn't care that much about her—Edward almost smiled at the impossibility—or that he loved her more than she loved Emmett. She chose to accept the first. Rosalie had to be the best at everything in her mind. Alice however was a bit of a mystery. Her reaction would be resigned at the least. The last vision she had must have shown her something or she would have never have let him leave. She might miss having another person who could relate to what she felt. Edward however never had that. Jasper might miss a fighting partner, and he might be even relieved by the change in the other's emotions. Esme—it was too hard to think about her. Edward Cullen's sweet and caring mother never deserved the treatment he had given her. It hurt him that she saw him as the son he knew that he could never live up to be.
He didn't deserve this kind of love or affection. And…Carlisle. His father, his mentor, his protector. What did he think now? Did he loathe him for the hurt he had caused the family—no, he could never loathe. Was he disappointed that he had to run away again?
Once again his thoughts returned to the hole that had returned again. Running away was something that he did best. He heard a gentle snap; the steering wheel had cracked under my grip. Edward lifted his hand off, his hands had molded the wheel. He gently pulverized the rest of the molding leaving a slightly thinner version of the wheel. Destroy the evidence. Edward gripped his knee not wanting to ruin anything else. It required physical effort to cling to the scraps of humanity that still remained. The scraps that had been shrunk and regrouped during the centuries had changed. In the last few years he had found a part of himself that seemed missing. These scraps had been intensified with her presence. It was funny, if you had a sick and sadistic mind as Edward considered himself too have. From the first time he met her, Bella, had seemed weak and defenseless. But, here was Edward, the supposed stronger species and he was unable to survive. He was supposed to be the killer whale, she the baby seal. This was the way things were supposed to be. He shook my head. Trying, vainly to dispel the thoughts. It was hard to do. Generally he could block off the rush of thoughts that continued
Bella would be fine. He was sure of the fact. Her mind, though curiously complex was only human. She would forget him, and his family. Though this seemingly understood fact was supposed to cheer him up there was a small twinge of sadness. A sad rebelliously selfish part of his mind hoped that she hadn't skipped off into the sunset. But, who knew? He certainly didn't. He mustn't think such thoughts. It wasn't fair, to either of them. He had one promise he would honor.
Edward continued his ruminations through the night as the Canadian forest melted at his sides. He would catch himself staring out the sides, scanning the highways for thoughts. Finally he saw himself drawing near the part entrance. There was about two miles so he turned off the road and maneuvered the car through the dense forest. The spruces were lighting up as he came upon the trees. Finally he found a spot and once again he abandoned the car. Edward grabbed his bags and scanned quickly over the car making sure he didn't leave anything behind. He repeated the process of wiping of evidence and soon he ran into the woods. Edward soon came upon a clearing; He ripped down the trees surrounding the area taming the woods into a more suitable shape. Edward quickly stacked the logs hammering them together with his fists. After about twenty minutes of work a small lean to was built. He placed his bag inside.
He ran through the forest, staying a close fifty miles to his makeshift home, taking a brief scan over the things he saw. He saw the burnt out area of a campsite and approached it. There were the remnants of wrappers and a shred of a magazine. The shiny pages said this was the November/December issue. This was later than he had been thinking; Edward had been previously confused of the date. He took magazine back to his habitat so that he would have some chain to humanity. Here among the trees, living like the primal beast he was, it was all to easy to forget why he was here. Why Edward was doing this. Then, unthinkably fast the pain approached. It was hard to make it back into the habitat. Every step reminded him of Bella, wince, and his journey through the woods to their place. The place where dreams had seemed possible. He collapsed on the floor of the house. Then, he, Edward Cullen the sleepless monster, drifted into the anguish.
